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Will I ever be through all this pain and be well?
"If you are asking whether you will ever be free of all problems and pain--if you or your life will ever be "perfect," the answer is no. But when you fully accept yourself as you are now you will be well and whole.
The fact is that thousands of victims and defenders have broken the patterns of their abuse, are no longer a danger to themselves or others and are living fulfilling, productive lives. Are they totally free of pain? No. Do they sometimes do hurtful things to themselves or others (not including physical or sexual abuse)? Yes. Are they perfect? No. But they have healed themselves.
For a survivor, the hardest part of self-acceptance is accepting the fact that the abuse was part of their lives. Trying to eradicate the past only leads to frustration and disappointment. We can never wipe out our abuse. It will never go away; it will always be part of us. We can reach the "so what" stage where our abuse no longer causes us intense emotional pain, but we cannot erase the fact that it happened. Our past has simply brought us to the present moment.
In order to heal, you must love yourself--all of you. The most important part of healing is to accept the hurt child in you. To accept that child without the abuse is not to accept the child at all. The child is part of you--and always will be."
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