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 Will I ever be able to enjoy sex?
"Happily, the answer is unequivocal "Yes," although it may not seem possible to you right now.
If you have been sexually abused, you have been through a terrible experience which may have made you feel that any sexual act is ugly and repulsive. For most victims, their abuse is their first experience with sex and so their only picture of an act that should be beautiful and loving is smeared with violence, anger, and hate. Many victims have an intense fear and aversion to being touched. Others see the face of their abuser whenever they try to make love. Many women experience pain with intercourse, even though their doctors can find no physical cause for it.
So how long will it be before you can eradicate your old patterns and enjoy your sexual relationships? There are no definite answers as to how long it will take before your relationships and your sex life will be enjoyable.
It is important that you and your partner talk about what you like and don't like. In fact, it is crucial for the survivor to describe specific acts, kisses, or touches which ignite memories of the abuse, so they can be avoided. You must teach your partner to make love to you in a way that is special and unique so that you will not flash back on what you want to forget.
You will begin to find that you know you are living in the present, that the past is really past, and that your lover is the one you love--a new and unique person who treats you with love and respect."
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