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I often think about killing the person who abused me. Is that wrong?
"It is natural to have strong feelings about your abuser, and it is even more natural to think about revenge. The thought of revenge is a way of obtaining control over what happened and of reliving the terror of helplessness you experienced.
However, fantasies of revenge must be handled carefully because they can be dangerous if they become a repetitive part of a person's daily pattern of thought. Fantasies which become obsessions can inflame anger instead of releasing it. Violent thoughts can be therapeutic only if they remain thoughts and if they are worked out with the support of a therapist. You can consume what remains of your life in an endless quest for revenge and spend your days and nights raging at your abuser, if that is your choice. I chose a different path. With help, I decided to let go of the past, to work through the pain of my abuse as quickly as possible, to surround myself with people who make me feel good, and to make up for all my misery with happiness. Instead of punishing my tormentors, I let them go; I refused to give them anymore control over me or to let them ruin one more day of my life. And the more content I became, the less I desired for revenge.
Nothing that you can do to your abuser can erase your suffering or bring back the happiness you have lost. Your abuser cannot make up for what is past. Only you can make your future. You can go on and work to make the rest of your life as full of joy as you can. "The best revenge is living well."
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