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If I have been abused, will I abuse my children?
It is unfortunately true that abused children can become child abusers or can fail to protect their children from abuse by others. Although there is a high risk of repeating the pattern of abuse, not all abuse victims become child abusers. And abuse can easily be prevented through therapy.
The sad fact is that when we are unaware of our feelings, we repeat the patterns we experienced as children, especially the patterns established out of misery and horror. Pain seems to imprint these patterns into our brains like a computer program, and we have to be aware of the program in order to replace it with a new one.
If you bring your unconscious memories and emotions to consciousness where you can work on them, the chance of abusing your children will be greatly reduced. It is only when the memories and emotions are still unconscious that a high probability of child abuse exists because it is the old rage, hatred, fear, and pain still trapped in your mind which cause the present overwhelming emotions leading to child abuse.
You already have an important protection against abusing your children: awareness. You can monitor your feelings and actions and learn to walk away when you begin to feel angry or helpless with your children--before you get out of control.
Child abuse is a learned pattern which is often passed down from generation to generation. The way to break the chain is through awareness. You can avoid abusing your child if you are willing to take the steps necessary to prevent it.
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